i wish we could have talked all night

today was wonderful. even on 3 hours of sleep. driving in the morning! my last 2 hour session, kinda sad :( i really really need to get a permit. and today was a really good work out surprisingly! i'm gonna feel it in the morning but its okay. oh i got a gym pass at LA fitness today sorry 24 hour, you're just too far away :( I get to train with an ex NFL football player. maybe he"ll help me with my project lose an olsen twin. :) I really want to stab my finger with something sharp, but thats unsanitary :( It doesnt hurt, but i can"t stop picking at it. im weird :)

BUt i love my friends! each and everyone of you! today was so fun and refreshing (in the 90 degree weather) i miss you and i'm super stoked for relay!!!!!! <3 maybe i'll be able to sleep soon? hopefully...... Briana don't ever go on chat roulettte. i say this because i love you. :)

person:what are you guys doing ?
me: picking up cigaretts
person: well there's one there... and there... and there.. and there... there are a lot over here
me: yea thanks
person: so where do you guys go to school?
me: los al...... :(
person: you're ONLY in highschool?! i had a friend that went there.
me: oh okay and yea SENIORSSS!
person:so do you know any soccer players
me: yea..
person: okay


what the heck. not only was that an awkward conversation but why did he make being in high school sound so bad? I love it! besides all the stress. Even if im not at los al, im gonna really make the best of my final year. this is so scary really. im absolutely terrified of the future. I live in the now, which is good, as well as bad, and in the long run its gonna bite me in the ass. But theres nothing wrong with being young and having fun! really! I mean SO much has happened in highschool that i will always remember, whether it be friends or situations that shape you as a person. looking back as a freshman i wanted to be a senior so i could:
~be older
~get OUT of high school
~have an off campus pass
~sit at the front of the assemblies
~senior parking lot
and so much more, but now that i have it, yea its great, but all the memories i've had and experiences i have experienced (redundant haha) are much more valuable than any off campus pass could bring. My stupid moments in the hall are way better than viewing the front of the assembly. Lunch with my best friends way better than going off campus to buy food. Birthdays, stupid talks about dreams, stress over classes, walks to lockers, venting sessions, difficult times with other friends, boys, personal issues that your friend can help you with are just so much more rewarding. Growing and maturing with the people who matter most to you, and sometimes the only people who were there for you is what i'll remember most. and i only have 1 more year till the people that im so closely attatched to will be thousands of miles away. which sucks. But i want to say thanks for sticking with me through thick and thin. your guys support and friendship made leaving los al easier because i knew you would still always be there for me. and when we all go off to college i know we"ll still manage to get together and hopefully travel together and sit around and talk about our lives. And if i'm lucky i'll get to know about your husbands and wives and kids and crazy bosses and slutty room mates annoying ex's and all that good stuff :)

but yea now this is kinda a ramble and i have 8 hours worth of math homework for SAT stuff so im gonna get off the computer and hopefully i"ll get bored doing math so i'll fall asleep or something.